Why It Sucks To Be Late- A List of Laugh Out Loud Excuses.

More often than I care to admit, my dialogue with people goes something like this:
Person A:  Sorry I am late. There was so much traffic.
Me: No, really? Guess you should have chartered your private plane to get here like I did.

Living in LA is non-conducive to avoiding people being late and wanting to lose your mind. It’s as if there is some non-spoken rule that 30 minutes late is actually on time. I did not get that memo. It is a no brainer that people are 10 minutes late to work, common that they are 20 minutes late to a coffee date, and actually not surprising if they're 30 minutes late to a dinner. A party starts at 7:30 yet people show up at 8:30. There is nothing that annoys me more than sitting in a coffee shop, half way done with my green tea latte, and have the person I am meeting with leisurely walk in 15 minutes late with a smile on their face. My first thought? "What the hell is wrong with you?" 

When did it become acceptable to be late? It's so rude. So inconsiderate. This might come as shocking to you, but your time, your schedule and your problems are not more important than anybody else's. 

Since I live in LA, and have my whole life, I get to endure the ridiculous go-to excuse for being late as “the traffic”.  I’m sorry but if you have lived here longer than one month or even worse, have lived here your whole life (you know who you are), you know that it never takes less than 30 minutes to get anywhere…and that includes the Starbucks down the street. There is traffic every morning, every afternoon, every evening and yes, even at midnight. 

Aside from traffic, there are also 5 other excuses that I have on the reg...and it drives me personally crazy.

Them: "It’s so busy for a Sunday afternoon!"
Me: Nooo. You’re kidding. That’s so strange considering the traffic on every other Sunday afternoon.

Them: "Google Maps re-routed me because of construction"
Me: There is always construction and it does not take 30 minutes to go one block from Sunset up to Santa Monica blvd.

Them: "There was an accident and one of the lanes was shut down"
Me: You mean like every day, on every freeway?

Them: "I went to bed so late last night and was so tired I slept through my alarm"
Me: Oh cool because I was so excited to be here at 9:00am this morning and definitely could not use the extra sleep. I mean, I hate sleeping.

Them: "So sorry...I’m just so busy!"
Me: Oh! I wouldn’t know what that feels like because all I did all week was wait around to have this meeting with you and all I need to do after this is wait for our next one.

Also, I came across this laugh out loud article on ChicagoTribune.com that listed the most outrageous excuses for being late that employers have ever heard. It got me thinking- instead of blaming traffic people should really come up with something more creative and entertaining, like some of the following:

•I knocked myself out in the shower.
•I was drunk and forgot which Waffle House I parked my car next to.
•I discovered my spouse was having an affair, so I followed him this morning to find out who he was having an affair with.
•Someone robbed the gas station I was at, and I didn't have enough gas to get to another station.
•I had to wait for the judge to set my bail.
•There was a stranger sleeping in my car.
•A deer herd that was moving through town made me late.
•I'm not late. I was thinking about work on the way in.
•I dreamed that I got fired.

•I went out to my car to drive to work, and the trunk had been stolen out of it

Thinking about work while you're on your way should definitely count as clocking in, don't you think??

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